Podcast Happy At Work

Don't ask "Where Are You From?" in a small talk

"Where are you from?"

It seems like the ultimate icebreaker in a globalized world, but it might be the very question holding your team back. While meant to show friendly interest, this question often boxes people into national stereotypes, ignoring the rich, complex layers of modern professional identities.
In our latest conversation on the Happy At Work podcast, cross-cultural communication expert Natsuyo Lipschutz challenges us to retire this outdated approach. She introduces a powerful alternative: the "Culture of One"—a mindset that treats every individual as a unique cultural ecosystem. By moving past "sophisticated stereotyping" and adopting facilitative communication, leaders can build deeper trust and unlock true collaboration across diverse teams. Here is how you can start seeing the person, not just the passport.

Achievable Recommendations

  • Apply the "3A" Framework to Every Interaction: Acknowledge, Analyze, Adapt (read further about the 3A model)
  • Master "Facilitative Questioning" in the Blind Spot. Ask questions that shift the angle, such as: "We know how this approach works in our local market, but what obstacles might we face if we scale it internationally, and what can we learn from them?"
  • Cultivate the "SE-WA-CON" Mindset: Sincere Curiosity, Listen & Harmonize, Yes-And Spirit
  • Commit to the "One-Action" Habit. Select one specific skill and commit to doing it at least once every single day.

Questions This Episode Answers

  • What is the "Culture of One", and how does it help leaders manage complex, multi-layered identities?
  • How can we use classic cultural models (Hofstede, Meyer) effectively without falling into the trap of boxing people in?
  • How do differences in high-context and low-context communication styles impact team collaboration, and how do we bridge them?
  • What makes a question truly "powerful" in a business environment, and how do you formulate questions that target the speaker's blind spot?

Links & Resources Mentioned

Subscribe to our newsletter

To truly understand a colleague, you must move beyond the outer layer of the “cultural onion.” While national identity is the most visible layer, it is often the least predictive of actual behavior. In my practice, I encourage leaders to look at the specific layers that shape an individual’s “Culture of One”:
  • Upbringing: The foundational values and personal history.
  • Community: The local environments and subcultures that shaped their worldview.
  • Education: Intellectual influences and professional training.
  • Social Class: Economic background and its accompanying social scripts.
Treating culture as an individual “Culture of One” is the only way to move from making assumptions to building genuine trust. When we peel back these layers, we stop interacting with a stereotype and start engaging with a human being.

The Danger of “Sophisticated Stereotypes”

The greatest risk for modern leaders is falling into the trap of “sophisticated stereotypes.” This happens when we use cultural research—like Hofstede’s dimensions—not as a starting point, but as a final destination.
However, Natsuyo had spent a decade in the U.S. and adopted a direct, “American-style” consulting approach. When she presented a logical, blunt critique of Mr. K’s strategy to his entire team, she violated every expectation he had of a traditional Japanese woman. He fired her the next day.
The irony? Their “cultural knowledge” caused the mistrust. Mr. K expected tradition; Natsuyo expected a strategic partnership. They both stopped at the outer layer, failing to see how their unique life experiences had reshaped their “Culture of One.”

The 3A Framework for Cross-Cultural Mastery

To navigate these complexities, I teach a three-step process called the 3As. This framework shifts your role from a judge to a facilitator:
  1. Acknowledge: Recognize that everyone carries a unique “Culture of One.” This requires the discipline to remove your own “cultural glasses”—the biases and filters through which you view the world—to see the person through a clear lens.
  2. Analyze: Use conventional frameworks, such as Erin Meyer’s The Culture Map or Hofstede’s models, as an entry point to gauge potential gaps. For instance, is the person communicating in a “High-Context” style (reading between the lines) or “Low-Context” (literal and verbal)? Use this data to identify the gap, but do not assume the data is the person.
  3. Adapt: Once you identify the gap, adjust your approach. This is not about changing your identity; it is about being facilitative to ensure your message is received.

Mastering the “Good Question”

The primary tool for the “Adapt” phase is the “Good Question.” In the Mr. K situation, Natsuyo could have avoided disaster by shifting from a direct critique to a facilitative question. Instead of “This won’t work,” she could have asked: “Mr. K, your strategy is effective in Japan; I wonder what the biggest bottleneck we need to overcome in the US might be?”
A “Good Question” must meet two specific criteria:
  1. The other person must be willing to answer it.
  2. The answer must provide insights for both parties.
By targeting the “blind spot”—the area just outside a person’s current focus—you shift the conversation’s angle. This creates an “aha moment” where new insights live.
The Power Tool: When you find yourself stuck in a cultural or personal impasse, ask the simplest question of all: “Why is it important to you?”

The Secret Fourth A: The SEW Mindset

Underlying the 3A framework is the most critical element: Attitude. This is rooted in the “Empty Circle”—a Zen-like state of becoming empty of judgment and bias so you can see someone through a clear lens. To maintain this “Empty Circle,” I suggest adopting the Japanese mindset of “SEW” (Se-Wa-Kon):
  • Se (Sincere Curiosity): Viewing cultural gaps as “interesting” rather than “wrong.”
  • Wa (Listen and Harmonize): Listening beyond the spoken words to find harmony even in conflicting environments.
  • Kon (Yes-And Spirit): A mindset of radical acceptance. Instead of rejecting a different idea, you accept the difference and build upon it.

The Empty Circle

Mastering cross-cultural communication is not about memorizing a textbook of national traits; it is about the internal work of emptying yourself of preconceived notions. When you approach a colleague with an “empty circle,” you finally grant them the space to be seen as an individual.
Don’t try to overhaul your entire leadership style overnight. Instead, commit to one “Good Question” in your next cross-cultural meeting. Shift the angle, listen beyond the words, and discover the “Culture of One” that sits across the table from you.
The next time you meet someone new, will you look at their passport, or will you try to discover their “Culture of One”?
2026-08-28 10:50 Communications Remote and Hybrid Work Corporate culture